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I remember when trying to make it to five years in business was my goal…here I am sitting at my kitchen table with FIFTEEN years to reflect on. wow. I’ve said it plenty of times before, but photography was never in my plan. I have a Master’s degree in education, and I planned on spending life teaching. Clearly, life had other plans.  Fifteen years ago was not when I started taking photos - it was when I started doing it as a “business”. It was a very, very small business I did here and there while I was subbing, trying to find a permanent teaching job. A wedding here and there, a gig some weekends. I did love to travel, and always brought my camera and that’s pretty much the extent to what I thought my photography would be; a fun hobby when I traveled. But slowly word of mouth got out and more and more people were calling me to take their photos. It was starting to get busy and I thought wait... could I make this a business? I was in Europe traveling, just wandering, taking photos and dreaming about what I wanted my business to look like, to feel like. I knew it was a far fetched dream… making your passion your career. My friend at one point looked at me said "you can’t make enough doing just this". I remember thinking “watch me”. Little by little word kept spreading. And little by little I would find locations and started meeting people more and more. I would post it, it would get shared and soon enough It was turning into something. I needed a formal name. At this point it was mostly men in the industry and they usually used their name as their business name. One thing I KNEW was that I didn’t want it to be 'Photography by Erika', or anything remotely close to that. I don’t like a lot of attention so naming my business after myself just wasn't my style, and I wanted it to be something that could last, something here to stay. One day I was writing a letter to someone (remember this was 15 years ago) and I signed it as I always had. I would draw a heart and then put “luv, ed” -- "ed" being my initials. Luved Photography....perfect!  Soon I was asking friends to be models, my niece was posing any chance I could get and I was getting a portfolio together. I advertised at craft fairs to begin and the response was amazing. To this day, some of the people I met at those fairs I still take photos of and keep in touch with. They are my true originals and have been there to watch me grow and have a very very special place in my heart. They trusted me before I was trustworthy (looking at you, Gina!)  As things got even more busy, I still felt like I had something to prove. I had to show that I was legit, that this was an actual business that wasn’t going anywhere, I had no plans to let it falter. And then one day I drove past this very raw little storefront. This was it. I could picture it. THIS was going to be my place. It was small, manageable, quaint. Little by little I was going to make it my own.   And I did.... I loved that little studio, and for the time I had it, it was perfect. It was such an exciting time! I had moved to a new part of town where I owned a business, I was getting married, everything was falling into place. Unfortunately, life threw me a curve ball. My marriage ended, I had some pretty tough medical issues, the building was sold and it was time to move on. Then covid hit. My medical issues continued, everything was shut down …… but NOBODY forgot about Luved Photography. It survived. I survived. And since I have been even more booked and busy than that dream of having a business I talked about way back when.  Fifteen years is a long time to do what you love. Luved Photography and I have almost grown up together. I am proud of how far it has come and also how far I have. Thank you for spreading my little business name so I can do what I love. There have been so many nights spent in tears… but in tears because I didn’t know how I was going to keep up with the demand. What an incredible problem to have! It feels like a huge circle of friends that I get to hang out with day by day. And what I'm most proud of, that someone reminded me a few weeks back, I did it my way.
Cheers to 15 years. I LUV you all!
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I wanted to be writing from a new spot in Italy, but alas, I made a rookie mistake and booked this trip during Ferragosto, a national holiday which meant public transport was not running at full speed so it was almost impossible to get to. I’m still a little hesitant to rent a car here since a piece of my tire cracked off in Amalfi and my niece and I had to be driven last minute to the airport by a lemon farmer whose Fiat was hanging on for dear life (traveling with me never has a dull moment). So I stayed in my usual area, jumping between airbnbs that are both amazingly decorated and have amazing terraces…two things very important to me. The location is a bit out of the way but I can navigate that and you meet more people when you aren’t near tourists (pro tip). BUT I still wanted to see something new so I went on a day trip to a little island that is known for it’s pastels - Procida.  Have you ever seen a more “Erika” place?! Although you feel like you're on fire here from heat, I hiked to the lookout where I could stand and stare for hours! When you’re wandering alone everyone asks you to take their photo - so I basically did an hours worth of mini sessions before going try the famous Insulate di Limoni. Which was basically lemons in a bowl with olive oil, mint, onion, chili flakes and salt and pepper. I really tried... but I couldn’t stomach it…I told the waitress how full I was and then went and found some french fries. Which are oddly good here?!  I risked being stuck on the island because there was only ONE ferry back due to the holiday, but a risk I was willing to take. The worst thing that could happen is I was stuck on an Italian island for a night. Worse things have definitely happened to me (refer back to lemon farmer story), but I made the ferry back to Sorrento and made it home after a taxi driver literally told me “no! traffic!”. After a lot of delayed trains, walking out of my way and the biggest blisters you’ve ever seen I wandered in to finally glance at the photographs from my new “travel” camera, photos both from the island and Sorrento.  This is my tenth time in Italy. Not every trip has been as great as this one as traveling alone comes with its ups and downs, but this might be one of my favorites so far. From meeting new people on an airplane and getting in trouble for talking too much, to being invited to random places many don't know of yet, to hearing people on the street who now remember me saying “CiaoEDIKA! You are back!” So to remember this time in my life of unknowing and confusion yet being completely convicted that I’m doing the right thing I wanted something to remember it by; a piece of jewelry, some sort of trinket.. I don’t know. I went shopping and nothing stood out, I thought of getting another tattoo, but when mentioning it SB told me “don’t do stupid things” - Italians are so honest! …. and what I was going to get was a little stupid. So I put it aside and decided that I’ll know it when I see it. I had the most gorgeous view the last few days of the sea and Mt.Vesuvius, and the apartment next to mine had the cutest little terrace that belonged to this absolutely stunning Italian lady. At night she would yell “EDIKAAAA” and we would chat about everything from how Madonna was in town for her birthday, to how gross hot dogs are, to how she chose to live a life of freedom, and how happy she is. My little Italian, her little English. We made it happen. But on my last day I was feeling a little bummed to be leaving that town, and I knew I would be alone and homeless most of the day until my next airbnb allowed me to check in. As I was packing up I heard “EDIKAAA, I have a surprise for you!” I ran to the terrace and there was my new little Italian friend. Her hair was perfectly placed, her makeup done beautifully and her sweet smile ready to make sure I wouldn’t be alone.   She brought me up to her private terrace which was INCREDIBLE!! I immediately took out my camera and was completely speechless. We ate little chocolate cakes, took photos of each other (her dad was a photographer) and I showed her my instagram so she could see what I do for work. After some time on the terrace she took me around town to buy some new make up and “coco” and then we went to the mini food market to meet someone new. I’ve purchased coke at this market many times, and had small talk with the owner, so when I walked in it was like we had already known each other but now I was on a new level of knowing… like Rose Prosecco out of mini plastic cups at 9:45am knowing. I photographed the shop, we had a lot of laughs, they showed me a book of photos of their town because they know I’m a photographer and as we left the shop “CIAO EDIKA” could be heard for blocks.   I said my goodbyes, we made plans for my next trip and in her best English she wished me well. A few hours later, I noticed she joined instagram :) I was then homeless for a couple short hours and as I sat there just thinking about how my morning went from something I was thinking was going to be lonely and boring to one of the most interesting and fun mornings I've had in quite awhile, I considered how there is no material thing that could commemorate this. Material things seem to mean less and less to me these days and choosing to invest in whatever I’m doing here has been the most incredible gift I could have ever gifted myself. I don’t need a piece of jewelry or to mark my body; the people I’ve met, the experiences I’ve had are all stored in my heart, and when I start to forget, I always have my photographs. Oddly enough the next day I was waiting to get on the train to go to my first Italian lunch at my friend’s family home and I was in a little market just looking at little souvenirs. Someone stopped me to ask me where I’m from as they often do, always guessing Irish (nope!). He asked if I would be back and why I was there and I took the time to talk. We shook hands and I started to go on my way. But then he called me back - “Hey Chicago!” I looked back and he ran to me and told me he had a little gift for me. “For you” He said, "I hope you know you are a limited edition.” I looked down at what he gave me….I finally got my little trinket… and then an orange juice, because it’s just amazing here!  I have been asked a handful of times in the past few weeks how the adoption process is going for me so I thought I would post an update…or better yet…maybe it’s time for that section on my website I’ve said I’ll do (for years) where you can go if you want an update. Call in Amelia, my new fairy godmother who is helping me with all things website and here we are! Everything in my life seems to be in a huge point of transition right now. Most days I’m handling it, others I’m excited, and some I’m just really in awe of the curve ball life loves to keep throwing at me. Overall, I’m figuring it out, I’m figuring me out, and it’s been a pretty wonderful experience!  About a year ago now I actually said no to an adoption placement. I had went through the entire process, waited about two years, and when the time came for a placement it just didn’t feel right. There are a lot of reasons, some personal to the situation of the family placing the baby that gave me concerns; but the timing, the pressure of the work load I had at the time…it didn’t feel right, nor fair to the child. The call came as my plane touched down in the states from a special trip to Italy, and I made the call to say I was going to have to pass it up minutes before I was due in a newborn session. It was a pretty confusing, devastating couple of weeks and it became clear to me that to have anything I really want in life would require me to change my lifestyle and my work load. It was a hard thing to realize, and changing my speed has been a hard thing to work on. A year later, I’m still working on it. Since that happened, busy season came and went, and while in the thick of it, I kept thinking how would I have done this, 75 photo shoots and 3 weddings in one month with a baby? The holidays came and I thought how did I pass that up; how fun would this season be with a baby?! January came with incredible trials for my family and I faced the harsh reality that my plan for child care and my main source of support in doing this as a single woman, with her own high volume business, is no longer realistic. In April I was back in Italy, and there was a moment (on a scooter along the coast, of course) that I finally felt an incredible sense of peace about it and a strong sense of gratitude.  Day by day for the past twelve or so years, I have calibrated myself to feel like what I see everyday is what I need to strive for. Newborn babies, families, weddings…it became engrained in me that it’s what I should want, and we all know that as we age, the pressure to have it all sooner rather than later gets more intense. Since that happened though, I have traveled more, separated myself, and met some amazing people that help me remove that pressure I put on myself and it has all led to this really great little adventure that I am loving. In addition, I will need a completely new plan on how I would realistically be able to adopt, (given things that have recently happened) so for the time being I’ve put a hold on moving forward. Maybe I decide to start the process again in a few months, maybe a few years, maybe never. I don’t know. And I’m ok with my no plan, plan. For now, being “alone” and working on a new balance is the best place for me. I have ignited my love for traveling again, I am confident asking for a table for one, and I am enjoying just seeing where things go with no expectations, no pressures. So while LuvEd Photography is still my main love, I’m choosing to step back ever so slightly in the search for what is meant for me outside my work. I will still do weddings, but just a few. I will still do family and baby sessions, but maybe not 8 a day! And I am booking my trips and investing time in a place and culture I absolutely adore. I am also working on a new print shop on my website, hopefully to be finished early Fall. It will sell prints that I have photographed from my travels spanning the past 18 years and travels I will continue to do. It’s my work that I have rarely shared, and not only will it be available in the print shop, but we will be working on licensing to hotels, businesses, offices, etc. I’m really excited to dig all of that out, which in turn digs a part of me out I have been shoving to the side. I am also back behind the emails, and being there for YOU. While I have always held this little LuvEd family I built close to my heart, this year I have really embraced how so many of you are now friends I’ve gathered along the way and I am infinitely grateful for all your love...which is why I thought this update was needed! When I had fears about medical aspects of the adoption, I reached out to clients, who were there for me in a split second. With every step that I inch closer to embracing “me” you guys send me constant notes saying how much you love this or that for me. And with every scary day navigating my mother’s illness you guys have checked on me, and even more kindly, on her.  The goal here is to stay consistent and write an update every month, updating you on my random little journey . Next month, I’ll be writing from a little village in Italy I have dreamed of photographing. At least I hope! I still need to buy the plane ticket when I find some time. I’m still working on that whole bit where I put myself first... and I have a mound of editing to get to! Talk then! ;) luv, ed |
